I'm worried.
I hobbled to Walgreens a couple of days ago and invested in a heating pad and Salon Pas. But now that my show is hung and ready for the opening TOMORROW (Tues. Dec. 6th) -- I'm worried. My back is killing me. The pain never goes away unless I'm knocked out and sleeping deeply. CRAP. The problem is...Well there seem to be lots of problems looming.. But the biggest one is that my body's first reaction to pain is to get nauseous. (Seriously nauseous) And another problem is that my kidneys are failing. My last reading was function at 22% - the conversation went from "Let's prolong your kidneys as long as possible.." to "we need to take steps to get you on the list.." And here's another looming worry.. If I begin to throw-up because of the back pain...I immediately get into a loop where I cannot stop throwing up and soon begin throwing up blood...and then my kidneys really might fail...while I'm in NY. Not at home with my beloved partner (we just got married); he is the love of my life...oh my gawd...I need to get home... SO this is a snowballing worry. I need to take a specific medication to completely knock myself out for a day. And then...just throw in the towel and fly home. Yikes. I make the call. Call my airline, make the arrangements. Change my apartment rental. Let people know at the gallery... WHAT A COMPLETE BUMMER! I will not be at the opening of my own show! I won't even be able to celebrate with the really wonderful model of the series on show, Mandy. (Who flew in from Portland!!) Augggghhhh....It's too difficult to explain all this to everyone. I just say that I threw my back out and need to get home. AND.. An ice storm in looming in Portland, and the city usually goes crazy in such a scenario...Will the flight get cancelled? Will the plane be able to land?!! I don't know, but I have to try. I feel compelled and feverish to get home to my LOVE and to my known doctors, etc. Take the knock-out medication...And when I wake I hope to be better just to get to the airport, etc. What an adventure, eh? I am with the force and the force is with me. I am with the force and the force is with me. I am with the force and the force is with me. I am with the force and the force is with me. I am with the force and the force is with me. I am with the force and the force is with me. I am with the force and the force is with me. I am with the force and the force is with me...
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