This is one of the first photographs I ever took.
This is my mom.
I was like 5 yrs old when I took this. I remember feeling so happy & Light in this moment...like I was being devilish taking a photo of my mother dancing so freely. (Texas, the 80’s) My relationship w/my mother was fraught. She was an alcoholic & died with alcoholic dementia.
And she taught me so much. Not only in spite of her, but because of her. In the total absence of love...I learned love. I learned grace. I am having quite a life’s journey of my own & I am absolutely loving it. You see I learned to love myself. Not full of ego, not as a narcissist, but out of a deep connection to all that makes me unique (warts & all), and w/the deep, invisible connection that binds us all. I have studied for a PhD, I have struggled as a single mother to put myself thru college, grad school & food on the table. I have raised a beautiful, strong daughter. I lived thru two domestic violent marriages & healed. I have gone blind & had surgeries & am now a photographer. I have traveled to places I never thought I could go. Last year, I died & I came back. (Long story...I am a daily walking miracle) And I know all the secrets now. I know the truth. I know that we are Infinite beings of light. I know that this 3D world we have come to - A soul having a human experience - on a planet of contrasts & limitations is not the reality. It is the dream. We are here to create. And I don’t just mean painting clouds (but yes, that too!) I mean on a meta level. And we often forget who we really are. We are light and love and we can manifest anything we want here. So this moment...This snapshot of my mom dancing disco...It represents a passionate fiery heart of mine that grew from many moments watching my mom dance with big headphones on. Because now I DO IT. It is how I create my life & my dreams. So thank you Mom, thank you for teaching me to dance in bliss/passion/heartache, yes, while everyone can see. Yes, even though I fall sometimes.
WORLD, I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY.
Once in awhile, well, BAM!