Short of it. My kidneys are on their way out of town - and they are almost all the way out.
I hover around 30-22% kidney function.
I have many complications and recently....back in October(!)...while LIVE on a webstream,
interviewing the great Benjamin Von Wong....my liver failed (I'm still afraid to go back and watch the video.
Gawd! I don't even remember it!!!) For interest, I've listed the link below:
A few days later I went to the emergency room and from there into the ICU.
I was dehydrated to an extreme degree from throwing up all the night before interviewing Von Wong....BUT HELL FIRE if I was going to miss that interview! When I got to the hospital (my lovely daughter drove me), I knew things were serious but because my liver had failed and, one of the symptoms, is total mental confusion....I did not consciously "know it."
But, ENERGETICALLY, I knew I was dying.
A kind of "undocking" if you will from my physical body. I was preparing to leave the planet.
This is my attempt at capturing the full-round experience of my near death experience.
Hint: It was wonderful.
The first photo represents the first glimmer of my death.
This is very personal work for me. I had a near-death experience and it took me a long while to process it. I have tried my best to capture, what for me was, "visiting the other side," "being dead," "piercing the veil," etc. Bu tthis was an entirely multi-dimensional experience that cannot be well explained with words or 3D earth mind-relates. The light that exists here is simply not beautiful enough to relate to you what I saw. The bottom line is it was a wondrous experience. I am not afraid of death. It was utterly lovely and has now further expanded my heart, my art, and the life left within me, in this body - on this planet. Spend love. Nothing else exists - All else is illusion.
For one instant, I tried to hold onto this world....
I realized, only much later, that I "knew" I was dying.
I didn't consciously know it, but I knew it energetically - if there is such a thing. It felt like I was "undocking" from my physical body. It was a big energetic movement and decision, and inevitable. I felt crazy in my conscious mind though, because I was effused with such joy. I was elated. I did not go through "a tunnel." I immediately experienced myself - and all others/all else - as pure light. AND LOVE.
Nothing else existed. No anger, no jealousy, negativity, misunderstanding, etc.
I knew everything, all at once. I was ONE with every being.
My dad was there. We were so happy to see each other...We didn't "speak," but shared each other. he knew that I was not going to stay very long, and I ONLY wanted to stay. LOVE SOUP.
That was nirvana and that is what I experienced. Looking back and analyzing the experience, I knew my body was below me, but in the experience it mattered NOT AT ALL. I was in another place and it was totally where I wanted to be.
Then I woke up in my body. It was a long while in understanding why I was so sad. So heavy. So NOT back fully in this life again. It took some time to get into the gravity, the physical spanx suit this human body IS.
But I am back and fully present. With great insight and experience.
There is no need to be afraid of death. How fascinating.
Pierced the Viel...
The first glimmer of my own passing.
I realize only on an energetic level that I am leaving this 3D planet; this earth.
My energy body prepares itself, a shift to "undock" and leave behind the body.
In a floating instant I slipped the skin.
I pierced the veil.
I am on the other side.
There is nothing but a beautiful light - and love. Nothing but love.
I realize later piecing this otherworldly experience together that amongst the soft, wonderful understanding of LOVE everywhere, that my dad who passed away about a year and a half ago was also there. There was no tunnel. Just instant all encompassing light with my body below. This, however, did not matter to me because it was total euphoria where "I" was.
I did not want to leave. But I did. I came back.
Do not be afraid to die.
Love & Light is all there is on the other side. This is the dream; the mirage.
This is the unreality.
Pierced the Veil : A Near Death Experience
Photographer: Jady Bates
***I am updating this blog post to say that it is the last day of 2017 and since experiencing the above -- I've begun to experience extraordinary healing. My body is working better in ways that is has not for YEARS. What is that quote?
"I don't believe in miracles.
I rely upon them."
Once in awhile, well, BAM!