THIS IS AMAZING.
i HAVE READ HER BOOKS OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
I am re-training my brain how to think ABUNDANCE and POSITIVITY. -and literally fall in love with life, myself and the universe--
...read on a tiny bit...
It's working !
Blessings to all of you !!!
The best ones were done on FILM...because well, film rules.
Fantastic models: Neryssa Gladden //IG: @neryssagladden & Nicholas Finchum // IG: @shanti_fire
A mime and a unicorn walk into a bar..
The unicorn asks, "Do I exist?" ..
And the mime says, nothing..
This is all art - for so much fun.
In this small/outdoor/urban shoot, I partnered with wonderful Mime & Artist: Nicholas Finchum (IG: @shanti_fire ) -- These images are a combination of black & white film & digital.
DON'T WE ALL CURRENTLY FEEL LIKE THIS?!
First time ever - I mixed my fixer wrong.
Do you know what you get when you develop your film in not enough fixer?
Negatives that look like they have been dipped in milk.
As I've said, I've not yet experienced this before. I know, I know. You are asking why didn't I
simply read the instructions on my fixer bottle's inner label? Well, my vision is challenged and
I cannot read (nor can many other "unchallenged" visionaries) the tiny print on those stickers.
I looked up how much fix to put together but got on some weird website that told the wrong
measurements and, well, here was my result.
My images were not completely LOST from this one roll, however. I was able to save one that was pretty alright. I'll post the negative with the bleeding the lack of fix left on each negative and then also the cropped, processed image.
I think this is an interesting look. Ultimately, I might try to do a series with a less-that-totally-fixed film aspect -- could be interesting.
Mixing new fix. :-)
I hobbled to Walgreens a couple of days ago and invested in a heating pad and Salon Pas. But now that my show is hung and ready for the opening TOMORROW (Tues. Dec. 6th) -- I'm worried.
My back is killing me.
The pain never goes away unless I'm knocked out and sleeping deeply.
The problem is...Well there seem to be lots of problems looming..
But the biggest one is that my body's first reaction to pain is to get nauseous. (Seriously nauseous) And another problem is that my kidneys are failing. My last reading was function at 22% - the conversation went from "Let's prolong your kidneys as long as possible.." to "we need to take steps to get you on the list.."
And here's another looming worry.. If I begin to throw-up because of the back pain...I immediately get into a loop where I cannot stop throwing up and soon begin throwing up blood...and then my kidneys really might fail...while I'm in NY.
Not at home with my beloved partner (we just got married); he is the love of my life...oh my gawd...I need to get home...
SO this is a snowballing worry. I need to take a specific medication to completely knock myself out for a day. And then...just throw in the towel and fly home.
I make the call. Call my airline, make the arrangements. Change my apartment rental. Let people know at the gallery... WHAT A COMPLETE BUMMER! I will not be at the opening of my own show! I won't even be able to celebrate with the really wonderful model of the series on show, Mandy. (Who flew in from Portland!!) Augggghhhh....It's too difficult to explain all this to everyone. I just say that I threw my back out and need to get home.
An ice storm in looming in Portland, and the city usually goes crazy in such a scenario...Will the flight get cancelled?
Will the plane be able to land?!!
I don't know, but I have to try. I feel compelled and feverish to get home to my LOVE and to my known doctors, etc.
Take the knock-out medication...And when I wake I hope to be better just to get to the airport, etc. What an adventure, eh?
I am with the force and the force is with me. I am with the force and the force is with me. I am with the force and the force is with me. I am with the force and the force is with me. I am with the force and the force is with me. I am with the force and the force is with me. I am with the force and the force is with me. I am with the force and the force is with me...
Will I ever get this completed photo-story out?
Here is one more step, er, post toward completion.
By this time, it's Sunday. It is "hanging day" at the gallery, for all the new shows that are to go up for the month of December 2016.
I take the subway over, which is always delayed coming from or going to Brooklyn because of various/continuous construction on the lines to Manhattan. AND...small hiccup...I threw my back out the night before helping to take down the main gallery show in November. But! I nabbed some Salon Pas at the local pharmacy store and slathered it on (whew! I smelled like Salon Pas to "high-heaven"!) before getting to the gallery. (I hereby apologize to everyone who sat next to me on the subway rides.) My frames and work were all put together, so hanging the work was straightforward. I also thought it would be easier because I had smaller frames. You see, my show was to be upstairs this month. I only had 13 images to hang...I figured I could do it fairly quickly and get back to my heating pad at the apartment.
Hanging 13 photos/frames is more difficult than you would expect, but with help from dear friends at the gallery...SUCCESS! The December show was up and ready for the opening! Here is a photo I took of our trusty sign hanger, Neil, doing his magic!
NEXT...Back to the heating pad in Brooklyn!!
I interrupt my December trip to Brooklyn photo-diary to robustly promote my new concept series:
This was my first shoot in NY and totally fun, creative, -in the moment- and, well, a fantastic experience!
We often live in an invisible cage of fear, and fall down into a well of sadness.
Anger is both relief and a body flood to action; transitory though it may be.
Love is surreal - learning and accepting, joyfully, yourself and others.
While being grateful is delight and deepness - an appreciation for the gifts that surround you.
Joy is the ultimate leap of feeling, a culmination of emotion.
But often, we avoid at all costs what is real and all too raw.
Model: Roxy Monroe (Instagram: @themodels_leader)
(Retoucher artist: Yura Goodmood -photo FEAR-)
These next three days I 'sat' at the Soho Photo Gallery in Manhattan...of which I am a new and enthusiastic member.
It's really quite something to be the only one there, in charge and 'available' to all the visitors that come in during the afternoon. (Check it's hours of opening: http://sohophoto.com )
I didn't need to hang my second solo show until the weekend, so I was just enjoying each afternoon, chatting with the visitors as they came in and out of the gallery.
Each day I took the subway from Boerum Hill in Brooklyn to the Canal Street stop in Manhattan, and I tell you what...I felt the reality of the slog. Packed and bum-rushed on every subway home. Packed and barely awake on the way in...WHAT A GREAT EXPERIENCE! Loved it. Wore the 'slog' face and even felt the 'slog' spirit, but knew that I didn't have to...It's all an adventure for me. Something different and available for joy of the moment.
I do not have pictures of these three days. You'll have to take my word for it.
The smells, the vibe, the massive amount of humanity on a daily basis....and the joy in being part of it all. :-))))
Keep in mind it was the Christmas season, so I'd get off the subway in Brooklyn - opting to walk four more blocks rather than transfer once more and stay on the subway -- so I walked cheerily through the neighborhood (rather Moonstruck movie like) with lights everywhere and a cold sharpness in the air. I would intentionally play a Pandora Christmas jazz station on the way home - feeling unreasonably cozy and overjoyed to be 'out of work' (as thought sitting at the glorious gallery is really work, hahahaha...) and headed back to my cozy corner in Brooklyn, ready to rustle up dinner and cozy up until the next morning. EVERYONE buzzing around me was doing the same thing and I felt a unity somehow with the massive numbers. It was thrilling and lonely all at the same time.
Ok. No pictures for this post. Only story and feeling. Images next time!
I continue this story (It's been a HELL of a winter so far, non?)
Day 3 in Brooklyn. I stay 'close to home.' I walk around, do some errands and take a few
photos late at night and visit an around-the-corner bar.
The great thing about the apartment's window is that I looked right out at a Laundromat.
There is a lot of life that happens around a neighborhood's laundromat, especially in NYC area.
I wished, desperately, that I smoked so I could hang out the window and photograph people silently while I smoked and watched...and brooded of sorts.
I wished in the cold night air, that I lived in the Jazz Loft place that Gene Smith did. And could take pictures such as he did on 6th Avenue of all the strange poses and conglomerations of people and places that naturally took place. I imbibed his persona as I waited, photographed and observed. I felt engaged even though I never spoke to anyone this night. I felt needed in some vague way that no one could every explicitly state, but that was necessary and yet secretly known all at the same time.
Here is one of my favorites from hanging out the window that night.. I love the grain and the mysteriousness. I love the voyer-istic element. I love hanging out of windows at night in Brooklyn and silently catching stills.
Day 2 - I wake up. I'm excited and emotionally raw because I have so usual sensory overloads of, "You have to do this now. You have to do that." This day is all on my own and I know FIRST, I want to walk around the neighborhood and find the TraderJoe's supposedly close by!
I make sure I have me keys and remind myself (metally) that everyone's going to be moving at breakneck speed with no time for a tepid, shy little smile! So off I march to claim my sandwich makings that will keep me fed for a week! It's survival for god's sake!
Well, I really do, firstly, leisurely walk through the neighborhood. Kids are running to school with their mittens on. Christmas decorations are everywhere. Teachers and/or parents laughingly give chase as they're yelling at them not to run. All the brownstones and the small streets give such a neighborhoody feel. I find Trader Joe's and go right in. BUT.... it's different... (1) It's bigger than any Trader Joes I've been into (Wasn't Trader Joes only in Oregon?) and (2) there was a line of people waiting to get checked out, snaking all the way through the store. I quickly got my things. Went to get in line myself and go "handeled" by an employee that was there to "handle" the line. Whoa! There were two more such "handlers' along the way to the bank of checkers. And when I finally saw it -- THERE WERE 40 CHECKERS!! At a Trader Joe's? Crazy. When I get up to the guy that's checking me out, I mention I'm from Portland and that all the Portland checkers at Trader Joe's have to ring this little bell. He looks at me like I'm crazy. He says he'd quit, he wouldn't handle it. HA.
It's still early morning and I get back to the apartment and make some tea ad go sit to watch the people coming and going along Bergen Street. I feel lucky to have a fine place to sit and be calm and let my adrenaline come down. It's a lovely big window in front of the bed, in fact. And I set myself with a blanket in this little antique chair and sip and watch people and plan the rest of my day...
I realize it's a GORGEOUS sunny (cold) day out and I want to walk over to Prospect Park and see it--take some photos. It's supposed to be great, but I've never been there. So this is my plan. I wash up my tea things, pack a sandwich, my camera and film and head off. I walk a zig-zaggy way to the park to get a view of as many different neighborhood streets as possible. It'ls all straight out of a movie. Big brownstones. American Flags hang everywhere. Kids are of hollering, grandmas are out walking their dogs. It's lovely.
I get to the park and the first thing I'm struck by this huge, vast, open green field. It is glorious.I had to walk right out into the middle of it to get the delicious feel of green grass and spaciousness on all sides! I later learned this area is called The Long Meadow and that this 90-acre space is considered to be the largest meadow in any national park!!! I wanted to walk all the way to the lake too, but I was too tired. I ate my sandwich, snapped a few photos and lovingly walked the long walk home.
Once in awhile, well, BAM!